Bonen-kai (SONNA-NO KANKEI-NE!!!!)

Friday was the department bonen-kai, end-of-year party. I didn't really know what to expect. It was at a really fancy hotel, but I also know how every party I've been to here has been, so I wasn't sure how to play it. Nothing prepared me for this.

I got there right on time and was told to take the elevator to the "Grand Ballroom" on the top floor. I saw a few people I know on the way in, so I could tell that I was dressed right. Or so I thought until I got off the elevator and saw 4 guys at the check in table wearing superhero costumes, most of them the younger guys, but one was sort of a big dog, so I was more confused than I normally am in Japan.

I went in and sat down with a guy I know and, of course, they started pouring me beers. My boss came over to pour me a drink, and he was already pretty hammered. Then, according to Japanese tradition, I tried to pour him one. First, thought, to be culturally correct, I was told that I had to finish mine. OK, no problem there. Then, according to the ritual, my boss gave me his beer to finish before I could refill his. It was shaping up to be a rough night.

The guy I was sitting with (Sato-san) explained that all the new guys hired this year had to put on a show. He kindly gave me a warning that this always involves the new guys in speedos. This was also the only party I've been to that included the secretaries, so they got to size up the new guys, too.

Earlier in the week was some things I could say that would make people laugh. Basically punchlines from Japanese comedians, to help me make small talk. First, they taught me "Obei-ka?" with a sweeping hand gesture. It means "are you western?", and I guess you say it if they do something western, and then people laugh. I didn't get a chance to use it, though.

The second thing I learned was "Sonna-no kankei-ne!!" with downward fist pump. It's the catchphrase of a guy named Yoshio Kojima. Means something like "What does it matter?". The didn't, however, mention the standard presentation of this. Which brings me back to the new guys show. They did a whole routine based around "Sonna-no kankei-ne!!!". Here's a video of Kojima, so picture 5 guys doing this. Sorry I couldn't figure out how to embed it.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2nyza_kojima_fun

After the show, there was a little mingling time, then it was time for BINGO!!! Turns out, I'm not good at bingo. They had good prizes, like a TV and a Wii, and some crappy ones. I didn't win any of them. I got to practice a lot of Japanese, and some guy promised to set up a "meeting girls party". I don't remember the word in Japanese, but it's basically a party where they arrange an even split and hope everyone pairs off nicely. It sounds like that's the normal way here in Japan, since all the bars are hostess bars.

When the party wrapped up, my well-lubricated boss grabbed me and said we should go to a bar, and he recommended going to one that doesn't have hostesses. I accepted gladly, and we went to a place that was sort of English-pub-style bar, with live jazz. They go by the bottle keep system (you buy a bottle and leave it there, and whenever you come in, you drink from it). We mostly went with individual drinks, though. I asked (in perfect Japanese) if they had tequila, and then what kind it was. With one other guy, I had my first shot of tequila in Japan (Sauza blanco, but I can't be picky). The other guys liked the ritual involved and wanted to join in, so they immediately ordered more shots. They didn't get the idea of waiting between drinks. Before I knew it, we were 5 shots in and not slowing down. No, you can't get the tequila on the bottle keep system. I had to pay 4000 yen for the big party, but for some reason I didn't pay anything at the bar, even though I was ordering all the drinks. I hope it keeps up like this.

I stopped at the 7-11 on the way home and bought a sandwich, since I hadn't really eaten anything, and went home and went to sleep.